Best Happy Birthday Funny Quotes, Images, Jokes Collection

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Searching for happy birthday funny quotes to wish your friend on their birthday. Then you’re in the right place. Here is the best collection of happy birthday funny quotes for sister and friend. Also, there are some quotes for the brother to make their birthday more beautiful.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes


Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

Don’t let aging get you down… it’s too hard to get back up again!

Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~ Jack Benny

Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art. ~ Stanislaw Lec

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese. ~ Helen Hayes

Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! I hope all your birthday wishes and dreams come true.

A wish for you on your birthday, whatever you ask may you receive, whatever you seek may you find, whatever you wish may it be fulfilled on your birthday and always. Happy birthday!

Another adventure filled year awaits you. Welcome it by celebrating your birthday with pomp and splendor. Wishing you a very happy and fun-filled birthday!

May the joy that you have spread in the past come back to you on this day. Wishing you a very happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Your life is just about to pick up speed and blast off into the stratosphere. Wear a seat belt and be sure to enjoy the journey. Happy birthday!

This birthday, I wish you abundant happiness and love. May all your dreams turn into reality and may lady luck visit your home today. Happy birthday to one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known.

May you be gifted with life’s biggest joys and never-ending bliss. After all, you are a gift to earth, so you deserve the best. Happy birthday.

Count not the candles…see the lights they give. Count not the years, but the life you live. Wishing you a wonderful time ahead. Happy birthday.

Here’s to another year of laughing until it hurts, dealing with stupid people and keeping each other moderately sane. Happy Birthday best friend!

You are my best friend, my human diary, and my other half. You mean the world to me and I love you

Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come.

Birthdays are a new start, a fresh beginning and a time to pursue new endeavors with new goals. Move forward with confidence and courage. You are a very special person. May today and all of your days be amazing!

Birthdays come around every year, but friends like you only come once in a lifetime. I’m so glad you came into my life. Best wishes on your special day

Your birthday is the first day of another 365-day journey. Be the shining thread in the beautiful tapestry of the world to make this year the best. Enjoy the ride.

Two older men sit on a park bench. One says, “Joe, I’m 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. How do you feel?” Joe says, “I feel like a newborn babe!” “A newborn babe?” “Yes! I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I might’ve wet my pants!” Happy birthday!


Listen, I hate to be the one to do this, but you need to get your birthday habit under control. It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you. So give it a rest, will you?

Happy birthday! Want to feel young and thin again? Let’s go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people.

Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you never walk past a bathroom without saying “well, I’m here already – I may as well pee.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

You know what they say: it’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. Happy birthday!

On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lying about your age.

Smile – today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years – yikes!

Happy birthday! Congrats on joining the 28-years-old-forever club. We have millions of members all over the world.

Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Happy birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes For Best Friend

Happy birthday! They say that age is just a number. Yea right – and jail is just a room!


Don’t be bummed about your birthday! You know what they say: it’s better to be a year older than to be one month late. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Remember, the older you get, the closer you get to having them choose a nursing home.

Wait – you’re how old today? You’re so lucky you’re not a dog. They would have put you down by now. Oh, well! Happy birthday!

Congratulations! You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday.

Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, people start wondering if you’re the walking dead.

Be happy! Today is the day you were brought into this world to be a blessing and inspiration to the people around you! You are a wonderful person! May you be given more birthdays to fulfill all of your dreams!

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake.

Technically you’re not 50. You’re only $49.95, plus tax!

They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!

Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.~ Chili Davis.

Here’s to you on your birthday! May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead.

Happy birthday! Don’t let a 27-year old Olympic gold medal winner make you feel like a failure on your birthday.

Happy birthday. I’m so sorry you’ve reached an age where pop culture marketers are no longer targeting you.

It’s a special day – your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile.

We thought we would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year but quickly ran out of space. Happy Birthday!

One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things”. That said, I know that spotting little things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday!

Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday! Congrats on reaching an age that makes your receding hairline seem appropriate.

Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool’s Joke. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case – please disregard this message. Happy birthday!

I wish you a very happy birthday! Just please remember to tell me how old you’re pretending to be, so we can keep up the charade.

Happy birthday to a person whose age now makes them cry even more than the day they came into this world.

Happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for serious medical reasons.

I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you don’t take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it.

Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know. Happy Birthday, anyway!…

I hope you have low expectations for your meal and cake this year, I hear dad’s having a go at being the chef. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, you’re closer to seeing another century pass.

On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. It’s nothing to get worked up over. Happy birthday!

Birthday Wishes For Best Friend Girl


Wishes may come and go, but age always sticks with you. Happy birthday!

I believe you forgot about my birthday present last year. I’m returning the favor this year. I’m afraid a Happy Birthday is all you’re going to get.

Happy summer birthday! Get out and enjoy it while you’re still young enough to not fall into the “high risk” category for heatstroke death.

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

It’s about time one of us turned 18! Drinks are on you, then! Happy Birthday!

Don’t let your age get you down, it won’t be long until you are allowed to start learning to drive. But until then, on your bike! Happy Birthday!

To my brother who still owes me several big ones. I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. Happy Birthday!

Congratulations! You’re the only person that I don’t need a Facebook reminder to remember their birthday.

Happy Birthday, Bestie. As your gift, I will continue being the friend your parents wish you never had.

I’ve stayed in touch all these years because you’re the only one that can handle my excessive displays of sarcasm.

Congrats on becoming a year older. Wishing you lots of love and hair dye to wash away the new gray hairs. Enjoy your birthday!

Dear Friend. Have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets. Happy Birthday!

As you reflect on your life, you’ll notice that I’ve been there through every embarrassing, happy, sad, proud, scary, and important moment in your life. Remember that the next time you’re mad at me…because I forgot your birthday gift.

It’s your birthday! To celebrate, let’s grab a bottle of wine and go skinny dipping in our birthday suits. Oh wait…that’s a typical Friday night.

Happy Birthday! I love having you as a best friend. I get all the benefits of having a sister without having to share your crazy relatives

Ain’t no Cake Big Enough! | Funny Birthday Wishes for Older and Younger Brothers

I can’t believe how big you’re getting! Long gone are the days when I could steal cake from your plate and no one would ever be the wiser. Happy Birthday!

Hey brother, read this message until the end. And don’t be hate to me:) Come and look from your room’s window to the trees you planted. Are there very difficult? As if my say is of course yes. The trees like you, they are very tall and fat as you. One minute, hey bro you should go to the gym. I’m serious. Anyways, the trees you planted become old like you. But you are still my favorite person in the world. Happy funny birthday bro. – Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

May your life be long and useful like a tissue paper so that whenever you unroll a day it always brings you success and victory. Happy birthday, sister, have a great joy today.

Today, I will not lie to you but may this is painful for you. And This will be a gift for your birthday. All of the years, you look very younger than past years I said. But this is a big lie, sorry bro and happy funny birthday if you can celebrate this. aha.

Hurry up stupid!! There is not enough time for your birthday. But still, you don’t have a girlfriend to celebrate your success or to enjoy your time. Your time is passing, do you understand me? Hurry up, because you are older than before your every passing time. Happy birthday and I wish you a girlfriend you wanted.

Remembering all the dumb stuff we’ve done throughout the years, I’m considering myself lucky you still are alive to celebrate another year of being reckless. But that is what makes you, so never stop doing dumb stuff with me, my friend. Have a great happy birthday fun!

Don’t you think it’s about time we grew up a bit and stopped painting the town? I know exactly what you’ll say. Next year. Happy Birthday!

Remember that age is just a number. Well, until you hit 60. Then you’re just really freaking old! Happy Birthday!

Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake. Happy birthday.

You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.

When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Happy Birthday Quotes


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar . . . Yung No Mo.

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

You’re not 40, you’re 18 . . . with 22 years of experience!

Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!

You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

I’m just here for the cake.

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday . . . then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.

Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday . . . and assume I said them. Happy birthday!

There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, “Happy Birthday.”

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Looking 50 is great . . . if you’re 60.

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

So far, this is the oldest I have ever been to.

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit . . . but check it for wrinkles first!

Tonight, we will celebrate the birth of the oldest of the old! The antiques in the front row of the store! The person that is now one year closer to arthritis! Nah….just kidding, you still have plenty of juice left in you, and you will keep on having it for plenty of years to come. Wishing you a very amusing happy birthday.

I think you should get in Guinness Book of Records. ”The oldest person in the world” I don’t know your real age but you are looking so old. Forgive me but this is true. Anyways, have an entertaining birthday but you should write your testament.

You know you are getting old when instead of blowing off a candle, you put it off with your saliva because your lungs are too old to produce air. Wishing you a happy birthday niece, let lighten up and laugh more.

Happy Birthday Friend

At least today be happier than yesterday because today is your birthday, your special day. The burning candles, the smiling faces and lovely wishes waiting for you this evening. Don’t care about your age, you are just very old and enjoy all of the time. But be careful about your health, you are not young like the old days. – Happy Birthday Funny Quotes


How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Wishing you a joyful happy birthday.

You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.

People say that the good die young, so I guess that makes you an old badass!

It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

Another year, another new place that aches.

It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.

An old fart is as good as a new one.

Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.

The younger you try to look, the older you are.

Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.

May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.

Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.

You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”

Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.

The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.

Warm wishes on your birthday! I didn’t bring a gift, though. I figured it’s payback for all the trouble you’ve gotten me into all these years.

Happy Birthday! Here’s to me being the wild chick that drove all of your “goody-two-shoes” friends away.

We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old. 

Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. Ogden Nash

The frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it. Doris Day

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. Golda Meir

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Happy Birthday to my best friend. You’re the only person I can tolerate for more than an hour.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

I love you, friend! I’m happy it’s your birthday, but I can’t help admitting that I came mostly for the alcohol.

I’m not a fan of overly sweet messages as you know, birthdays are for fun! So let’s ditch the old folks later and get out and about like we used to! Happy Birthday!

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